re:naming

A look into different ways people who are trans* go about finding the name that finally suits them, and how they know they've found it.
(we run off submissions, don't be shy~)

Alexander Shea

alexandershea

I was given the most girly name imaginable. Victoria Alexandra. *gag* From as young as I can remember, however, everyone I know has just called me Alex, and I felt  uncomfortable when people called me Victoria. In about 10th grade I started realising personally that I wasn’t female, and in Senior year I started looking for a new name, however nothing I saw really felt like it fit.

The only name I ever found myself pulled towards was “Alex”. Then, the most obvious thing came to mind. Alexandra had a very well established male counterpart, and so Alexander wasn’t a far jump.

The middle name was more difficult. At first I was thinking Alexander Aaron, but I tried it out for a few months in my head and found myself getting a little irritated at the general sound it made. I wanted something that flowed better.

So, I started just writing all the names I’d ever heard that I liked. In between ridiculous ones that I knew I wouldn’t use came names of old friends that I hadn’t seen in ages. One of these was “Shea”. At first I was a little wary of it. The Shea I knew was a young girl, about 5 years younger than me, and my brain was screaming at me going “What’s the point of changing your name if half of it is just going to be a girl’s name?”. So, I did the next best course of action and looked it up online.

My brain quelled itself when I found out that “Shea” is actually a gender neutral Gaelic name meaning “admirable” or “from the fairy fort”.

Also, I feel it rolls nicely together.

Caleb

Caleb

I was born Tess, but it always seemed really frumpy. I’m pre-everything, and really excited for my new life. I choose Caleb because it is just Jewish enough to be Irish sounding, i feel it’s a reflection of where i come from without sounding really butch (i was worried about compensating). I went through dozens of “baby” name books and websites and wrote down my favorites till i found one that stuck.

Adventures in airport security…

26021992:

My bro Maya and I were going through security, leaving Cleveland after surgery. All our carry-on baggage, laptops, shoes, jackets, scarves, little nerdy pins, small change, etc. were separated out, placed in tubs and sent through the scanner. The sleeves of my shirt are rolled to the elbow, and I am still wearing my hospital bracelet.

We were sent to a separate scanner - not a metal detector or an X-ray scanner, but a millimetre wave scanner. I don’t really mind - this happened on the way here, and electromagnets are cool.

Read More

Apologies.

My life got very crazy, for a while there. But I’m a little more solid, now, so I do plan on reviving this. I have a few really good stories waiting to be posted, actually.

But before I post them, I need to post this story. It’s not a name story, but it is important to spread around, I think.

After this, we will return to our regular schedule.

Thank you.

<3

Jade

Jade

My birth name is James, which I never liked going by. I insisted on being called Jamie from the time I was four.

I’ve always loved coming up with stories, and started writing them down as soon as I learned how to write. From the start, most of my characters had a female protagonist, whose name was Jade. From memory, I chose Jade because of its similarity to James, and because I thought it was the most beautiful name in the world. Jade was the person I wished I could be.

When I came to realise I was trans, there was never a question about what my name was going to be. I’ve wanted to be Jade ever since I was a kid, and now I finally am.

thatboywithfingerstripes

AAB: Shruti Swaminathan.

When I was a little kid, I always referred to myself as Karthik. That was my name, the name I named my teddy bear when no one would call me it, and also the name I eventually gave to a boy I consider my little brother. I used to insist it was my name, but then when he was born, I suddenly felt that I’d outgrown it. 

I spent the next few years wandering around with a metaphorical hole in my heart as I searched for another name that would fit me as much as that had while I came to terms with myself and how me identifying as male would affect me and the people around me.

And that’s when I met my current girlfriend. She always maintained that there were certain things about me she liked— the fact that I was strong, the fact that I always believed in her— even when we were just friends and I was that bookish, scrawny guy with an obvious crush on her.

And those two qualities became my name. In Sanskrit, “strong” translates to Akshath, and “faithful” to Vishwas, so my name became Akshath Vishwas. And it fit much better than the name Karthik ever had. I still hold that first name close to my heart through my baby brother, but I realize now that that name wasn’t meant to be mine in the first place.

I was just holding it for someone else while I looked for my own.

Atticus.

sir-ragingbagoftestosterone-esq

Actually, I didn’t pick out my own name. My birth name is Kimberly, which I hated even before realizing I was FTM. In high school, once I figured it out, I was trying to pick out a new name. I considered Alan (my favourite name) and Nathaniel (what my parents would have named me had I been born biologically male), but neither of those really seemed to fit me. My friend, who was a year younger than me and reading To Kill a Mockingbird in English class, suggested Atticus just because she liked him and thought it would be cool to have a friend with that name. At the time I liked it okay and really didn’t have anything else. I also knew I wanted something that wasn’t common, so I decided to go with it at least temporarily.

I slowly, slowly realized that I really liked it, just because Atticus Finch himself was just the sort of man I would like to be. I am SO glad that I went with Atticus.

Rufus Herbertson Ulrik

Rufus (anon)

I was born Cara. My grandfather (Herbert) died when I was still quite small, but there were photos of him and me, and as I was a baby and still bald, I looked like a little boy next to his grandad. When I was 15, I was having trouble at school and was trying to come to terms with my queer identity. I named my Id, Ego and Superego, Cassius, Rufus and Antonius respectively. I used it to help explain to my mother the various psychological terms and came to realise that I liked to be called Rufus. It, unlike Cara, felt like me. For a couple of weeks, I browsed baby name sites and name history sites, until I named myself Rufus Herbertson Ulrik.

As I identify as genderqueer, it also is a good way to ease people out of gender preconceptions, and luckily my family and friends have accepted it. I like to think it represents a new and better me, as I disowned my father a while back and adopted my grandfather as a role model. I know he’s looking down on me proud.

Kyle

guess-what-i-love-you-lgbt-ones

Well, my birth name is Mackyla and because I’m still quite in the early stages of any sort of transitioning (mainly because I’m genderfluent and am still not quite sure what to do about all this) and I’m not out to a lot of people, not all that many people refer to me as my chosen name. 

But anyway, my name in Irish means ‘Daughter of Kyle’ and Kyle just happens to mean ‘a handsome man’, I always thought that Kyle just worked seeing as it’s part of my birth name anyway. I’ve also loved the name for a year or so now, and it just feels great when people refer to me as Kyle. It feels right. ^_^

Max

hobophobia

I was born Mary, and from the age of 4 or 5 I hated it. I remember introducing myself as “Mary, but I don’t like that name”. When people asked me why, I’d say, “It’s too frilly!”

Fast-forward ten years, I’m in the emergency room after a severe cutting incident. I’m 14 years old and this is my second hospitalization. The nurse writes “Mary” on the whiteboard next to my cot and asks me what I’d like to be called. Without even thinking, I respond, “Max.”

It’s been six months since that night and I’m still not quite sure what brought me to choose Max. I know that the name was in my head from earlier that day- Where The Wild Things Are, one of my favorite movies, was on TV- and I’d known I was FTM for a while. But the decision to be known as Max was so impulsive that it feels as though Max chose me, rather than the other way around.

My mom and aunt, who had accompanied me to the hospital, were shocked. Not in a bad way, I suppose, but certainly surprised. As they cleaned out my cuts, my thoughts drifted in and out, and I can’t remember ever questioning my name change. It was just a part of me from that day on.

Two weeks later when I left the hospital, Where The Wild Things Are was on TV. The other kids in the ward laughed lightheartedly when they realized the main character and I shared a name.

I smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time.